I remember / je me souviens
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For those limbic bursts of nostalgia, invented by Proust, miniaturized by Nicholson Baker, and freeze-dried by Joe Brainard in his I remember and by Georges Perec in his Je me souviens.

But there are no fractions, the world is an integer
Like us, and like us it can neither stand wholly apart nor disappear.
When one is young it seems like a very strange and safe place,
But now that I have changed it feels merely odd, cold
And full of interest.
          --John Ashbery, "A Wave"

Sometimes I sense that to put real confidence in my memory I have to get to the end of all rememberings. That seems to say that I forego remembering. And now that strikes me as an accurate description of what it is to have confidence in one's memory.
          --Stanley Cavell, The Claim of Reason


Thursday, February 28, 2002
I remember "My calling card for the police." A line from a crime movie (on TV) that really stuck with me -- at least one scene did, and I remember it vividly to this day, and a bit of the set-up. But I don't know what movie it was and I never saw it again. A dashing, nicely dressed aspring criminal wants to make contact with and offer his services to some master criminal in prison. But he's told there's no way he can get to see the master criminal. So he goes out hitchhiking -- this is the part I remember vividly -- and an old man picks him up in his truck. He's amiable. Cut to the criminal with a gun on him. The old man: Oh. It's money you want? "I'll give you what little I got" -- the only other line I remember verbatim, the old man pulling out his notably slim wallet -- notably slim because my father's was notably thick -- I don't think that the wallet's slimness was meant to signify in the movie. I don't want your money, says the protagonist, I want to kill you. Why, asks the old man. The police will find you and arrest you. That's exactly what I want. Protagonist fires. Look of mingled shock and pain and surprise and incomprehension on the part of the old man. He collapses. Cut to his body outside the truck on a dirt lot. Protagonist takes off his sports jacket and tosses it on the old man's inert body. "My calling card for the police." (Later, I vaguely remember, he realizes that this is not all a game and that he's made a big mistake. He may get fried, while the master criminal may be eventually released, wiser than his ephebe. But all this may just be a generic add-on in my vague sense of what surrounds that vivid vivid scene.) Anyone know the movie?


posted by william 12:28 PM
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